Blondies in the Bin
November 7, 2009 at 9:24 am | In Uncategorized | 22 CommentsTags: apples, baking, blondies, caramel, oatmeal, pumpkin, sandwich
Hi sweet peas!
I recently bumped my cals and have been more hungry than ever. The fight with my mom hasn’t ‘healed’, and I’ve been upset all week.
One night, I was still hungry after a big dinner, and I was muching on some cashews. She said:
-’Stop eating, you will regret it when you’ll get bloated.
- But I’m still hungry.
-Then drink water to fill you up.’
Okay. WTF.
Just Wat ThE FuCk??????
I stopped eating and went to bed. I was so pissed off but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to start another fight. And I didn’t sleep well because I was too hungry. >_<!
I also baked some Caramel M&M Blondies, after reading Mitri’s and Eliza’s comment (that baking might do me some good):
Boy do I regret baking them. Not because they were a disaster (I didn’t even get to taste one because…well just read) but because of the fight that followed…(Don’t worry, Mitri and Eliza, I still love you :p)
So…: My mom and sister tasted them and didn’t really think a lot about them. That’s okay, maybe I’ll like them. 2 days later, I completly forgot to taste one (I was waiting for them to cool down, then watched some TV…you know), and my mom threw them out, thinking nobody would eat them. She was yelling things like:
-’You’re always wasting ingredients, stop baking, it’s so useless, you’re wasting so much time, don’t ever bake again…etc’
She could’ve AT LEAST asked me before threwing the blondies out, sheesh! I will never bake in this house again.
It’s been 1 week since I didn’t ‘talk’ to her. Of course, if there’s a call for her or other things like that, I’ll tell her, but I don’t have any ‘normal’ mother/daughter conversations with her. It doesn’t seem to bother her a bit, and it’s really frustrading, because I used to enjoy sharing my thoughts with her and thought she enjoyed this too. Now I can see she doesn’t give a damn.
So while I had plenty ideas for oatmeal combos and sammie combos, I wasn’t in mood to enjoy them. So this week eats are pretty boring. I’m just gonna post the most interesting ones.
Hummus Turkey Sandwich
Homemade Rosted Garlic Hummus + Turkey + Tomatoes + Cucumber
Pumpkin Apple Raisin Oatmeal (click for the recipe)
I think it was the only bowl of oatmeal this week. Was too upset to make yummy oats creations.
Oh yeah, and guess what? My scale is broken, lol. At first I was like, ‘oh no, what I’m gonna do?’ then I though, ‘Oh fuck this, it’s not the end of the world’.
And I’m still reading your blogs, I just wasn’t in mood to comment.
It’s the exam week, so maybe this is my first and last post of the week.
Off to study now.
xoxo
EDIT: Haylee’s doing a giveaway, open to EVERYBODY (even for nerdy canadians…lol) . Luna bars, Clif bars, Larabars, a movie, OMG it’s my Christmas Gift Dream 
22 Comments »
RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI
Leave a comment
Blog at WordPress.com. | Theme: Pool by Borja Fernandez.
Entries and comments feeds.
Wow… Is there something else in your mom’s life that’s going on? Maybe she’s just really stressed out and having a hard time. If not… That’s really inappropriate. :/ It’s possible that she doesn’t mean to act this way though.
Comment by Tasty Health Food — November 7, 2009 #
Oh my, I never would’ve thought anyone would be angry about baking? Especially since you were trying to do a nice thing that’d benefit everyone. . .
I guess I honestly don’t know what to say about your mom! I don’t think mine has ever told me to NOT eat something because, well, it’s my choice and if my body is saying it’s extra hungry, then there’s probably a good reason. I hope you feel better soon
Good luck on exams!
Comment by Mitri — November 7, 2009 #
My mum does the same with me, when I reach for another slice of bread she tells me I’m going to get fat. Obviously, NOT the way to help a recovering girl. Your blondies look really good! But I must admit, when I first looked at them, I was wondering why it was blueish greenish, haha
But now I know its M&Ms, my bad. Me and my mum, we get into fights as well. I’m glad you aren’t upset about your scale, because I think it’s a good way to help you recover.
Comment by Nancy — November 7, 2009 #
I’m sorry about the blondies
Don’t ever let your mom upset you like that, that when you’re hungry, you stop eating. I know how it’s like, I do the same thing, but I feel so much better mentally after I eat something comforting.
Good thing about the scale!
And please bake again, baking can be so relaxing and fun!
Comment by littlemissminny — November 7, 2009 #
Your blondies look so pretty! I’m sorry things aren’t going so well with your mom.
I just started reading your blog, so I wouldn’t know but – do you see a therapist? Someone you can talk with? I find when things aren’t going so well with my parents, at least I have someone to talk with, and “complain” about them to. If you don’t, I assume your school has a guidance counselor so perhaps you could talk with him/her and maybe have them talk with your mother?
I wish you well, good luck with your exams!
Comment by Delilah — November 7, 2009 #
Cheerios babe! It’s the weekend again, yay!
Lucks for your upcoming exams alrighty!
P/S: I love the blue color of your blondies, hehe – pretty!
Comment by solclare — November 7, 2009 #
De-lurking.
I love how colorful your posts are; even when the writing isn’t that cheery, the colors certainly are. I’m sorry about your mom! It sounds like she thinks she knows your body better than you do. O_o Has she always been like this? This was quite inconsiderate, but perhaps she doesn’t mean to be that way? It might be stress outlet…
Yes to the scale breaking not being the end of the world.
Good luck on exams!
Comment by candice — November 7, 2009 #
I’m so sorry your relationship with your mom is going this way. I have complete sympathy for you about her behavior even though I can’t exactly say that I’ve experienced anything like that before. Heck, my mom would be estatic if I wanted to eat more and experiment with baking. Maybe your mom is just stressed out about something else? Is she doing okay? It just seems strange that she would be discouraging behaviors and actions that would actually propell you forward in recovery. I don’t know, just a thought. I’m really sorry you have to deal with someone like that.
I think the blondies look de-lish, and so cute and colorful too! Heck, she should have just sent them over here to my house and they would have been gone in the blink of an eye! Hahah.
Good luck with your exams and with your mom. Remember, “this too shall pass”, you just have to stay optimistic and keep a good attitude.
Comment by Kate — November 7, 2009 #
im sorry for the things that are going on between you and your mom. I hope things ease up soon <3
your blondies look great
Comment by Devan G Newman — November 7, 2009 #
Good luck with your exams, hope things get better for you, xoxo
Comment by laurasworthlesswords — November 7, 2009 #
Your mother isn’t handling things as well as she could… But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about you or love you.
It’s like everything is always at tipping point. No one knows where to tread.
You shouldn’t let the things she says get in the way of the things you love and make you happy, though.
If you want to bake, DAMNIT, go and bake!
If it makes you happy, if you enjoy it, it’s not a crime.
(Unless you’re drawing on someone’s front door in permanent marker or teasing the neighbors dog…)
That your scales have broken might be a sign, that you don’t actually need them, anymore. That you don’t care really shows a lot of strength, and you should be so proud of it!
Do something you love, and love every minute of it.
Eleanor. x
Comment by Eleanor — November 7, 2009 #
I have zero advice on your Mum because, to be honest, I’ve never come across this before… Was she like this before the ED? It just astounds me that she would say drink water – cashews aren’t going to bloat you!
Those Blondies however, look SO good!
xx
Comment by Katie — November 7, 2009 #
arhhh mums can be pretty annoying but she loves you remember that, she may just be going though a tough time, don’t let her bother you. you are amazing full stop.
Comment by jessica — November 7, 2009 #
Sorry to say but your mum definitely needs to learn some tact with her words. But i err..don’t know how to help you. Hope the tension with your mum doesnt get worse and things will ease up after a while.
At least making oats doesnt involve baking…maybe a good hearty bowl of oatmeal will lift your spirits up?
Comment by Sabrina — November 7, 2009 #
I’m sorry that your mom is being like this, hang in there..parents can be annoying but they will eventually come around. Just take a day at a time and try not to fight too much.
Comment by Emily — November 8, 2009 #
Maybe your mum herself is stressed out about something. My mum is being a bit of a ‘bitch’, really, these few days
Just hang on, sweetie. We’re here for you!
Cheer up, and good luck for your exams…remember you are LOVED <3
Comment by Rachel — November 8, 2009 #
I’m so sorry you had another fight with your mum
It sounds like there is something else thats shes worried/stressed about and shes just taking it out on you.
I think the blondies looked delicous! As does that pumpkin oatmeal… all those yummy toppings
Keep smiling my love <3
xo Hannah
Comment by determinedtoshine — November 8, 2009 #
Those blondies look absolutely amazing
Hope you enjoy them
Comment by fleur — November 8, 2009 #
The reason you are hungry is because your metabolism has revved up! It is absorbing all this nutritious food you are eating because your body NEEDS it, and is so thankful to you and WANTS you to eat more.
When you are hungry, it means your body needs food. It was very wrong of your mother to tell you to stop eating.
You shouldn’t let it get to you, though. Just ignore her and remember what is good for you, love.
Thing’ll get better, sweetie.
I really wish I had a piece of advice to give you, but unfortunately, I’ve never had the “don’t eat” problem with my mom.
She is always telling me to eat more :/
Hang in there
<3Karina
Comment by Karina Pinzon — November 8, 2009 #
im sorry about whats going on with u and u rmum– but i think you are amazing because you are able to see PAST it!
that is AWESOME you didnt care about the scale– stupid scale its just a number– seriously changes everyday! whats the point!?!?!
oxoxoxox
Comment by My Organic Intuition — November 9, 2009 #
Sorry to hear that you are always having problem with your mom. I am no help — sorry.
Great mentality with the scale issue. Shows that you are truly making progress.
Good luck with your studies.
Comment by theskinnyplate — November 9, 2009 #
Poor Elaine…your mom really sounds like she has her own issues to deal with…She just needs to vent it out…I’m sorry you’re receiving the brunt of it, but just bear with it for a bit longer…But I think it’s great that somehow, she makes you want to fight harder. A lot of times, when someone is recovering frm ED and someone tries to get her to eat, she will immediately clamp up and find it harder to eat.
Keep on trying to be positive, my dear. And I hope you are faring better these days.
Comment by burpexcuzme — November 12, 2009 #